An explanation

There is a lot going on in my life that led up to my decision to take down the blog. I can not share everything, but I would like to explain and respond to the numerous comments. First, I want to thank all those who gave their well wishes. I know that there are a lot of people who read the blog and find inspiration in it. I hope by the end of this post you will understand, and appreciate the greater lesson of removing the blog. I also want to say that all of the blog is archived in a blog called http://geulahperspectivesarchive.blogspot.com, but it is only accessible with permission. If there as an important reason to look at it, you can feel free to contact me at arigoldwag@gmail.com.

There is a post that I wrote in August of 2008 in which I actually discussed the reason I am stopping the blog. Only now have I taken my own words to heart. In that post, I quoted the statement of Chazal that one of the things that come with a היסח הדעת, a 'pause in knowledge,' is Moshiach. What is this 'pause in knowledge?'

In the deeper sources, there is the concept of the ten sefiros. The highest of the ten is called Keser, the crown, which is the transcendental realm. We can not access Keser in our lower level of reality. We can only access it by transcending into that higher realm. But there is a lower aspect of Keser, and it is called Da'as - knowledge. Whenever there is Da'as, there is not Keser. Whenever there is Keser, you do not have da'as. What this really means is that keser represents the myriad of possibilities. When one is in this state, he experiences many different contradictory aspects - as they have not been brought down into reality, and can coexist. Da'as represents the bringing down and limitation of possibility, a flattening of the higher reality, of a three dimensional world into a two dimensional world.

The problem is that as long as we live with evaluation and limitation - with da'as - we limit ourselves and preclude access to keser.

Understand this - in the world of Moshiach, opposites coexist. Both good and bad live in harmony. The lion lies with the lamb. Swords are beaten into plowshares. The evil inclination joins with the good inclination. Jew and Gentile serve Hashem together - "For my house shall be a house of prayer for all of the nations." This is the aspect of Keser.

When we evaluate events and say that they are Moshiach's advent - we are limiting the events and preventing Moshiach from coming! When I look at the calendar dates and I point out all of that which is going on - I am limiting - entering into a world of da'as. Da'as is synonymous with evil and separation - it is the loss of the greater holistic world of Keser where everything - even opposites - lives in harmony. The Moshiach blogs actually serve to prevent Moshiach from coming. My discussions of Moshiach prevent him from coming.

The truth is that there is validity to the concepts that I have been discussing - da'as is, in fact, a flattened version of keser - there is truth in da'as. But it is a limitation - it is two dimensional. In order for the picture to take on three dimensions, we need to stop flattening it. We need to stop saying that we understand. We need a היסח הדעת - a pause in knowledge.

For me, even from the beginning, the Moshiach obsession has worked to my detriment. Instead of spurring forward movement, it dragged me down and kept me from being who I need to be. In general, my podcasts served to act as an excuse for me to not pursue serious learning outside of them. I realized that most of Parsha podcasts just were a reflection of whatever ideas I was thinking of at the moment. Instead of looking for what the Torah was trying to teach me, instead of living in Keser - I was fitting my own da'as into the Torah. I was living in limitation.

We can not enter into a world of expansion as long as we hold onto limitation. I can not be who I need to be as long as I think I know how I am supposed to be. Yes, I can have a goal and a vision, but I can not allow that goal and vision to stunt my growth, and I can not be limited by that vision - I need to be open to a greater possibility. We can not look at events going on the world and even faintly believe that we understand them. This limits them. Our limitation affects the advent of Moshiach. This is clear from the statement of Chazal that Moshiach can only come when we pause our knowledge.

Thinking about the future is what the Alter of Novahardok calls דאגת מחר - worry about tomorrow. This is what prevents a person from the level of bitachon where Hashem acts with miracles. The thoughts and predictions define and limit, creating a reality that is only what we think, with our limited minds. It is essential that we stop evaluating in order to get to the time of Moshiach. We can't evaluate that time. We can't think about the future. עין לא ראתה אלוקים זולתיך - No eye has beholden it, Elokim, except for You. It is beyond our dimension. When we quantify it, we can't get to it.

Our job is to live in the present. When we bring the past into the present, we are limiting the present. When we bring a belief about the future into the present, we are also limiting the present. Our job is to realize that there is no other moment except for the current moment. The Leshem writes that Hashem's name י-ה-ו-ה means something more than the classic translation. Classically, we understand it to mean that Hashem was, Hashem is, and Hashem will be. He says a higher understanding. The name means that for Hashem, all times are present. All times are now. When we live in the present, we are emulating Hashem. When we live with a future time or a past time, we are disconnecting from Hashem, because for Him, all times are present. This is a deep idea, and I know that it is something that can easily be misunderstood to mean the opposite of what I am saying. But think about it well.

The bottom line of it all is that Hashem wants us to live in the present - to live in the moment - now. If we are constantly evaluating, than we are like the tourist in Israel who is taking videos the entire time, and not actually experiencing anything. He saves his video for some later time, so that at that point he can live in the past. He never lives in the present. And that is what we are doing here.

I think it is important that the blog be erased, to bring home the message that we can not live in the future, and we can not live in the past. We can not live with predictions, and we can not live - even understanding the structure of the months and the year. I personally have found this evaluation to be extremely destructive, and my conscience does not permit me to do it to others. I can not tell you what you should do personally. I can offer advice. If you have come here before, and were consistently reading, you may respect my opinion.

I advise you to live your life and try your best to serve Hashem with all of your heart. Ask Hashem to guide you. Let Him into your life. Let go of your version of reality, and allow His version of reality to take over. His version is so much grander than my version.

May we all merit to greet Moshiach together very soon.

Amen.