A friend of mine recently shared with me a very beautiful idea which I found to be insightful.
He told me that he heard from his rebbe that in the times before Moshiach, as the Yetzer Hara's power is waning and he is nearing his defeat, he makes his final stand. His behavior is similar to a star going supernova that lets off the light of ten suns as it is about to die.
Where does the Satan place all his final energy? Into the place that is most important, and most vulnerable - Shalom Bayis. He tries to create marital discord. Jewish life, in all of its aspects is completely dependent on this most central pillar. It is here that the evil one strikes in his last ditch effort.
Once we become aware of this, we can recognize that if our spouse does something that would provoke us, it isn't really our spouse - it's the Yetzer Hara! He is trying to fight his final battle in the place we are most sensitive. Notice again that the yetzer's primary tool is pride. We can fight pride with humility.
Recognize that the provocation is not really coming from the spouse. It is coming from the evil inclination. Respond with humility. A quiet voice calms anger. We know in ourselves that we respond with humility when others act towards us with humility. Use the tool of the Yetzer Tov.
This tool can be used in all of our interactions with others.
Commit for thirty days to always respond with humility to others, especially one's spouse, no matter what the provocation. See the difference it makes in your life.
Make humility part of your personal creed.
It will reveal the light of Hashem and bring Moshiach.